Thursday, April 26, 2007

Jack Bauer Would Not Be Pleased

So, I'm driving home from work today, and I realized the 1st major crack in the foundation of my union with Erks. It was one of the most horrifying experiences in my life and I'm not sure where I can begin. It all started when we were sitting at a stoplight...

Begin Flashback
we had to drive separately to school this morning because of timing issues, we were not in sync. So, Erks was driving home behind me and we were sitting at the light. I looked into my side mirror and was admiring her beauty. So, I decided to tell her so. I proceeded to use my unbelievably, world-class, nonverbal super spy skills to send her an encoded message to the effect of, "You... look... great..." She did not get the message. So, I changed tack. I realized I may have used a confusing signal and indicated that I was looking at something good, instead of her looking great. So, upon regrouping, I resent the message, "You... Look... Great..." Still nothing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End flashback.
At this point I became fearful for my life. How can I feel safe living for all eternity with a woman who I cannot depend on in Super Stealth Situations? We will never defeat the Pinko Nazi Commie Fundamentalist Hezbollah Terrorist Insurgent Chumps if we can’t even conquer a simple compliment. How will she react when in a life and death situation when the stakes cannot get any higher? Oh, we have a lot of kinks to get worked out. This marriage thing, I tell ya, it’ll be the death of me.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Alright… I know this is what you have all been waiting for, but first: Due to the graphic nature of this program, viewer discretion is advised.
And now, the list.
3 things I love
1. Erks
2. Reading
3. Playing Guitar Hero until the room starts moving towards me and I feel like I have to hit everything in rhythm. This is not a good driving strategy.
3 things I hate
1. Broccoli
2. Losing
3. Getting up in the morning
3 people who make me laugh
1. E singing Death Metal
2. Handsome Pete (He dances for nickels.)
3. Mitch Hedberg (RIP)
3 things that scare me
1. That so many of the kids I teach have kids I’ll have to teach
2. Having my head stomped on in the middle of a basketball game, oh wait, that’s already happened.
3. Hairless cats (they just seem so unnatural)
3 things I don’t understand
1. Why my Algebra II teacher would never accept my imaginary answers while he was teaching me imaginary numbers.
2. The worlds fascination with no talent celebrities whose most memorable moment was dying (I’m looking at you Anna Nicole.)
3. Solo Synchronized Swimming. How hard is it to be synchronized with yourself?
3 things on my desk
1. I can’t tell because of all the mess
2. See number 1 above.
3. Refer back to 2.
3 things I plan to do today
1. Love my wife
2. Learn the insane main riff from “The Trooper”, a new song on Guitar Hero II that’s hard as Hades!
3. Enjoy doing nothing
3 things I want to do before I die
1. Finish writing my stupid book
2. Teach my kids about the finer points of Pickle Ball (the greatest game on Earth)
3. Meet Gary Busey
3 things I can do
1. Cook (ask Mikey)
2. Think up a song to be the background music to almost any situation (especially during Mexican Train)
3. Perform mouth guitar versions of any Metallica song from 1981-1991 (don’t ask unless you mean it)
3 things I can’t do
1. Comprehend the unbelievable awesomeness of Chuck Norris
2. Interpretive dance (again, don’t ask unless you mean it)
3. Stop myself from saying WaAAaAaAaaAaAAaaAaaaaaAAAAaaHHHhhhhHhh during the beginning of lost (no matter how much Erika hates it)
3 things I miss
1. My Boba Fett underoos
2. Life without bills
3. Playing in a band
3 things I’d like to learn
1. How to play the piano
2. How to do simple home/car maintenance
3. How to make KFC style fried chicken
3 things I regret
1. Wasting time with little girlfriends and not taking football more seriously in high school
2. Failing out of college my first go round
3. Waiting to do things until later
3 favorite foods
1. Just about anything cooked by women over 60 (I don’t know if there’s a secret grandma cookbook or something, but those ladies can throw down.)
2. Anything that at some point in recent history used to be walking around breathing but ended up on a grill.
3. Cheese (even in cake form)
3 Favorite TV shows as a kid
1. G.I. Joe
2. The Electric Company (My favorite was when Spiderman had to fight the Yeti who ran around sitting on ice cream cones. Anybody else remember that?)
3. The Incredible Hulk (you don’t get any better than a green Lou Ferrigno.)
3 people I tag (You can either post it in the comments section, or on your own blog.)
1. Tom
2. Jon
3. Matt

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sad Pack...Happy Holmes!

It's taken me a few days to blog about this, but I am officially done coaching the NCSU Dance team!!! No disrespect to the team or the program, but in life sometimes you have to replace something you love with something you love even more. After a week of not having to worry about my two to three, 14 hours days per week I can truly, physically feel the difference in my mind, body, and spirit. I have had a wonderful almost first year of marriage, but now I really get to come home everyday and enjoy doing NOTHING or EVERYTHING with my best friend...J! Now by no means am I done with coaching, but what I do know is that I will never coach outside of a 30 mile radius of Greensboro. I thank Heavenly Father that I was safe all of those late nights and I have a husband who would wait to eat dinner with me every night that I was gone. I am not sure what to do with all of this time, but I am figuring it out slowly. Here are a few things I plan on doing:

1. Cleaning my house! Who knew it took assigning a room per day of the week just to keep a house clean. It's so stressful.

2. Learn how to relax. I am dead serious when I say I really have no clue how to do that for long periods of time.

3. Learn more about the gospel. We can truly do FHE now and a kazillion other things that I've been so excited about!

4. Do things for me!!!

Well, for now I will leave you with those thoughts. I look forward to accepting dinner invites, camping invites, and I also look forward to being able to hang out on Friday nights!!! Bowling is over next Wednesday for J and this Friday for both of us for the Friday Nite Mixed league. I'll save the bowling stuff for another blog though. That's a whole separate blog in itself:) Wow, just typing that made me realize how much stuff I really do. Hit me back people!


Friday, April 13, 2007

Tag! I'm it!

So I was tagged next in the list of threes so here it goes:)

Three Things I Love:
1. My husband
2.'s my therapy
3. Really hot showers

Three Things I Hate:
1. Milk
2. When service people just look at you instead of saying, "How may I help you."
3. Being cold!

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. J
2. Uncle Brian
3. Mike favorite white man:)

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. My basement windows at night when I'm alone in my house.
2. Not knowing where my calendar is (Jeremy made me put this 'cause he thinks I'm an organizational freak!)
3. Unlocked doors

Three Things I Don't Understand
1. Why Shane gets away with MURDER on "The Shield"
2. Why Carly won't get back with Sonny on General Hospital (Yes, I am a soap opera fan.)
3. Why people don't just do their jobs!!!

Three Things On My Desk
1. Papers...
2. Papers......
3. and more papers because I was so annoyed today I didn't clean up before I left!

Three Things I Plan To Do Today (or Did Today)
1. Enjoy bowling tonight...I'm a little tired.
2. Update my blog because I too am a blog slacker!
3. Find a shirt to wear that doesn't have NCSU Dance on it...I need some normal shirts!!!

Three Things I Want To Do Before I die
1. Go on my honeymoon
2. Own that dance studio EY and I keep talking about:)
3. and have beautiful children with my gorgeous husband!!!

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Be a great friend to those willing
2. Agree to disagree
3. Dominate the gridiron!!!

Three Things I can't Do:
1. Wait...I am soooooooo impatient...sorry Jeremy:(
2. Drive a stick shift
3. Mow the's against my religion...ha!

Three Things I Miss:
1. My college buddies because we don't get to see each other much
2. My LIFE...but I got it back when I returned from Daytona last week!
3. Sleeping in

Three Things I'd Like To Learn
1. How to play the guitar
2. How to speak Spanish, but I'll never do it.
3. More about the gospel

Three Things I Regret:
1. Not saving the crazy money I made over the past 9 years with my awesome summer job
2. Not researching scholarships enough in high school so that I wouldn't have all of these school loans
3. Giving Jeremy a hard time before he proposed because I'm what...not good at waiting!

Three Favorite Foods:
1. J's tacos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Toast with butter
3. J's grilled turkey and cheese sandwiches

Three Favorite TV Shows as a Kid
1. G.I. Joe
2. The Cosby Show
3. Thundercats

Three People I Tag (Do this in the comment section or your own blog!):
1. April T.
2. Natalie D.
3. Nicolle