So, I'm driving home from work today, and I realized the 1st major crack in the foundation of my union with Erks. It was one of the most horrifying experiences in my life and I'm not sure where I can begin. It all started when we were sitting at a stoplight...
Begin Flashback
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we had to drive separately to school this morning because of timing issues, we were not in sync. So, Erks was driving home behind me and we were sitting at the light. I looked into my side mirror and was admiring her beauty. So, I decided to tell her so. I proceeded to use my unbelievably, world-class, nonverbal super spy skills to send her an encoded message to the effect of, "You... look... great..." She did not get the message. So, I changed tack. I realized I may have used a confusing signal and indicated that I was looking at something good, instead of her looking great. So, upon regrouping, I resent the message, "You... Look... Great..." Still nothing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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End flashback.
At this point I became fearful for my life. How can I feel safe living for all eternity with a woman who I cannot depend on in Super Stealth Situations? We will never defeat the Pinko Nazi Commie Fundamentalist Hezbollah Terrorist Insurgent Chumps if we can’t even conquer a simple compliment. How will she react when in a life and death situation when the stakes cannot get any higher? Oh, we have a lot of kinks to get worked out. This marriage thing, I tell ya, it’ll be the death of me.